Remind me to give you a raise when I’m not broke any more,” Clarice said.I called my own meeting. “My darlings and the loves of my life, the sta...es have gone up a thousand times. There are all kinds of nasty people who want to make money off ruining Clarice’s life. We have a lot to keep secret, and if we mess up even a little, some reporter or photographer is going to be all over it, and then we’re busted.“These guys use telescopes and parabolic listening devices. They don’t have to be close.. She drank. They lay in silence broken only by Emma slurping her wine and the chink of glass as they refilled."Aren't you going to get burned?" asked Emma."Maybe, who cares? I've been all right so far." Yeah, but you should put some stuff on. Want me to do it?"Lauren sat up and drained her glass in one swift movement. She smiled at Emma and rolled onto her stomach, facing the young girl, closing her eyes, expectantly. Emma slipped onto the flagstones and tipped a little lotion onto her. Slumping into one of the chairs at the table littered with old mail, condolence cards and ancient Chinese food the tears began to flow again. It was hard to remember when he had been happy, when everyday was not just a swirling maelstrom of unyielding suffering. His strength had left him, his will had left him, all he wanted now was to be with Sasha and their child, to hold them and forget the pain. Walking up the stairs he passed by the nursery, it was done in neutral purples that would work. I got lucky. And I can’t help but feel like a fraud… To myself as well as the fans.”He twisted his mouth from side to side; eyes refusing to meet mine. “There’s so much pressure. I just don’t really know who I am anymore…” My heart ached, and I didn’t even know him or his life. But the way he said it was enough to know that he was desperately unhappy.“I guess I drink and smoke shit ‘cause it calms me down… helps me forget things.”He forced a smile at me, before turning his back and continuing.
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