It was relief.I stood up, automatically checking my stockings, andstepped away from the make-up table. Despite the dread I'dexperienced only ten minut...s before, I was relieved. Themiserable, crushing weight of manhood had been eliminated;decades of anguish and self-loathing erased in a singlemorning. No more guilt, no more shame, no more slinkingaround the house like a pervert. I didn't need to pretendany more. The masquerade was over.Leaving the Alcove, I made my way back through the. Mummy nai kaha ki tumhare dimag thik hai naa main kuch nahi karne dongi tumhe to raaj mummy ke pass aaya aur mummy ka hath marodkar peeth par laga ke bola ki nahi karne degi to main zabarjasti karoonga kyuki main tumse pyar karta hoon main aab tumhre bina nahi jee sakta mummy ko dard hone laga mummy nai kaha ki please mat karo veenet jag jayega to raj nai kaha Ki tum zayada chillaogi to to wo zaror jag jayega chup chap chalo bed room main aur mummy ko utha ke bed room main le gaya aur darwaza. ’ ‘Stop it.’ I smirked at her joke in spite of myself. ‘I’m reading ‘Lolita’ and the star wore those in the movie version.’ ‘Was he straight?’ For the next hour I explained the story as we rolled along the Interstate. ‘Hm, in mah hometown nobody’d pay much attention to a story like that. Ya know how ya could tell if a twelve-year-old girl in mah school was a virgin?’ ‘How?’ I asked. With an impish grin she replied, ‘Check her times in the 100 yard dash.’ ‘You should work for the Chamber of. I scared myself, I guess. And afterwards – well, I just felt awful.”“It sound like you did exactly the right thing, then. Sometimes I think that tops need a safe word too.”“I didn’t mean to upset Lionel, it really wasn’t his fault. It was just that I was rougher than I ever thought I could be. And, well,...”“And...”“Well, I made use of him. Grabbed him and just, well, used his face. He must have been shocked.”“Possibly. But I suspect that he was as excited by it as you were at the time..
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