I thought that I might find someone, and after a time fall in love with them, but I had known my brother and sister all my life and felt as if they ha... hurt me, if I couldn't trust my siblings, how could I trust someone who I had only known for a relatively short time?When Jack left I was an emotional mess. I was prone to random bouts of crying and loneliness seemed to haunt me. I couldn't concentrate with school and I felt too wounded to have any social life. I didn't want to begrudge Jack and. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did." What's to be ashamed about? It was a fantasy ... and it made things better. So what?" Honey, the thing is, it didn't really stay a fantasy." What do you mean?" It wasn't long before Dad asked me if ... oh man..." Don't worry, Mom. Go on." O.K. He asked me if I had ever thought about you like that ... if that was why I had written what I did." Oh." Tim paused. "Uh ... what did you tell him?" Tim, I don't think I can ... I ... I really don't think I can tell. We could eat and then fuck some more. That is the problem with older men. They just cannot keep going. But as reassured as I am now that my worst fears turned to ultimate passion, I know Ed has a sharp side. I never know for sure what he will do. Maybe he’ll soften me up with sex and next ? As I emerge from the bath Ed is waiting, smiling. ?You look beautiful - almost good enough to eat!? He holds out his arms for a big hug and I come to him reflexively falling into his arms with no. I recall their had been rumors on the television about a new terrorist cell, Dissolution I believe they called themselves, had threatened to release an engineered virus they claimed to have developed, but nobody had really taken it seriously, after all, their had been those type of threats for decades previously.It was the fifth of May, I remember that detail clearly, not only because of the events of the day itself, but also because it was the day after my mother's funeral.It's hard to write.
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