“I am Wallace Thrinklebopple, and I hereby declare myself emperor of these United States of America. Thank you, I’ll be repeating this message as ...eeded. That is all.”The crowd didn’t know how to respond.MEANWHILE! AT THE WHITEHOUSEThe president did. He called his cabinet and began “Well, folks, I guess we had a good run, but we’re out of a job. The Emperor Wallace Thrinklebopple has spoken. Let’s send him a plane so he can take his place.”“Wait what?” one of the cabinet members asked, “What do. I laughed and said I hadn't found any yet. He said he and his buddy where trying to play video games on his big screen tv late that night and ended up passing out. I thought, what a fucking idiot! Don't get me wrong, I like a good game of video games too but not when there's two hot and horny ladies outside eating each other out and fucking a fence!! For heaven's sakes man! I just clenched my teeth.I asked something manly like what kind of tv he had and he ended up inviting me over. I hopped. Punch ... sister!”“You really did that?!” Stephanie asked, looking at Zane.As usual, Zane just smiled and shrugged his shoulders and said “She’s a freshman! She’s not THAT little!”Carly started punching again “and he DIDN’T... punch ... USE... punch ... A FUCKING... punch ... CONDOM!”Stephanie continued to stare at him with her mouth open.Zane continued “It was the only way to prove we did it. And she didn’t get pregnant and everything turned out just fine”Carly added “Yeah but we thought she. Those things were a two edged sword. The paper bought a slew of them and gave one to all the reporters and photographers. We had to wear them during working hours and off hours if we were on-call. Sometimes it was nice. An assignment would get cancelled or changed for some reason and the news room could let us know so we didn’t show up to a locked door. Other times I’d be out with my wife and get called out to a fire or accident. That wasn’t so nice. Sheri, my wife, didn’t mind that as much as.
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