And then I wake up only to find I’m still trapped in this nightmare, a nightmare of a life with no joy, no happiness, no love, nothing but sadness f...r me. Each day I wake up. Each day I wonder. I wonder what it would have been like. To just have, the briefest of moments to be with you. To be a whole person again. To be a real person with a life again. To be what used to be me. I wonder about a life that can never be now. A life that, that by contrast, is so different than what I have now. I can. "The table was beautifully laid out with a single candle burning in themiddleI sat and Bill brought over the starters to the table, a huge plate ofoysters. Not exactly what I expected or was used to, I am more of avegetable soup man!"You know Pete I have added a little secret ingerdiant to the oysters"Bill said with a cute giggle."Em Bill, I dont know how to eat these." Aww poor Petey, let me show you, and by the way it's Billie now, notBill."Billie went on to open his mouth and holding the. He was staying in a hotel a mile away from me, so I headed over. I got to the hotel and Mark came down to the lobby to get me. He was impeccably well dressed and looked even more incredible in real life.We went upstairs to his hotel room and started talking about our speedo fetishes. We had both gotten ours at a very young age while we were swimmers. He told me how when he was in high school, he used to wear jammers, but envied the kids that wore speedos. He had a huge crush on the captain of. I didn’t like being second fiddle to anyone, even though Amber was younger and prettier than me. I didn’t like it shoved in my face.Rick looked at Amber and said “get up and get cleaned up, I’ll be calling you with your clients” he then looked at me and said “Maybe I’ll give you a rest” and I saw Barry look at me with a knowing smile. He was right. Rick was replacing me with Amber. I was angry about being pushed to the side after all I did for him. Right then I made up my mind about what.
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