We haven’t lost a father, yet. In five years, I am again at near term with our fourth child. Beth is five, Rayn is not quite four, and little Sara...is about one and a half. I am huge, really huge, and there is speculation about what that means. It has become something of a game in quiet moments that I have six pair of hands on my belly as they all discuss the possibility of twins. I find it delightful. Well, I don’t know about the twins part, but the touching part for sure. I have never. Yet here I am, lying on the beach, sand stuck to my sunscreen covered ass, arms, back, you name it.I shift restlessly on my beach towel, trying with great difficulty to keep my hat in place to give my fair face some kind of protection. I am sweating. Not the good kind of sweat that comes with physical activity, but the horrible sticky sweat that comes from sitting in the Miami sun. Finally I succumb to my misery. I can imagine myself relaxing in my room sitting on the balcony. I am going back. Um ganz ehrlich zu sein, wollte ich nicht wirklich, dass sie sich mit einem anderen Mann trifft, aber ich konnte einfach nicht aufhören darüber nachzudenken, ob sie es tatsächlich tun würde.Endlich konnte ich die bohrende Ungewissheit nicht länger ertragen. In meiner Situation am Arbeitsplatz ergab sich die Gelegenheit, meine Frau diesbezüglich zu prüfen. Die Firma, für die ich arbeitete, plante einige größere Entlassungen und jeder in der Firma war sich dessen bewusst. Obwohl ich wusste, dass. I soonfound myself driving to Caitlyn?s apartment in what was now my yellow VWbug. All traces of my old life were a distant memory as my parents onlyallowed me to bring with me my daughter and my cat. I had been livingfull time as Caitlyn for the past month in preparation for my new lifeand had gotten pretty used to speaking in a female voice, doing mymakeup, and referring to myself as Caitlyn.When I arrived at my apartment, a guy, who introduced himself as Jake,getting out of his car nearby.
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