‘Guilt … fear … who knows?’ he says, looking at me with those deep brown eyes. ‘I guess I was afraid that once we got started, we’d never ...top. You’d be an addiction that I couldn’t or wouldn’t break. I was afraid it would ruin both of our lives,’ he whispers. ‘What’s changed?’ I ask, seriously wondering why all of a sudden, it’s okay. ‘You living here,’ he says. ‘It’s a lot easier to ignore you when you’re not around,’ he smiles. ‘Maybe I’m jealous of all the time you’re spending with Jeremy.. I poked my head into the corridor, curious, or maybe apprehensive about going out of my room. You see, I have left this place for so long that it doesn't feel like my apartment anymore. It no longer feels like home.Seeing no one in the hallway, I walked out slowly, almost hesitantly, but I knew that this was my home and I needed to make it mine again.I walked into the kitchen, noticing a burn mark and a lump of ... uhh, whatever it was, it was black and hard. I vaguely recalled being the one. 30, I decided that if I had passed with the van driver that I'd go out again for a walk, this time I felt a lot braver as I had more than a few Baileys, and because of my interaction with the van driver.I had been walking for around 15 minutes when I was just about to go around a corner, I could hear two guys chatting as they headed my way.To be honest, my bravery went out of the window, and I chickened out, I turned around and started heading back the way I'd just come, as I did I heard the. " That wouldn't be so bad," said Lawrence and his eyes took on a dreamylook. He then looked guiltily at me and cleared his throat. "I, uh, seewhat you mean. I guess I've wasted a lot of time and money on costumesand lessons." Not necessarily," I said in an effort to console him. "Perhaps youcould do stag parties and smokers after you complete your main mission.In the meantime, why don't you consider wearing something a little moremodest...and a little less feminine?" "Jolly good idea! I have.
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