The chains which bind my ankles and my wrists make a slight noise and we both look down. He realizes my confusion at my feelings. He explains that alt...ough I will have feelings for him, my loyalties will always be with David. This thought makes me happy, I cannot wait to show him how well I can behave, how much I can please him. The Man must always, and will always be with me. He has shown me the life I was created for, he has helped me find myself here, I will always love him for that. But. When my pain stops hers will start. I know how selfish that is, but look at me. She deserves better than me. I haven’t been much of a boyfriend lately. A girl like her has everything going for her. The last thing she needs is my weight bearing down on her. I bought a gun last week. I had to wait a few days for it. When I picked it up at the pawn shop the guy behind the counter gave me an uneasy look. ‘Don’t let it go to your head.’ The pawnbroker told me. I thought his words were ironic. That. As he watched the girls, Ben found his mind wandering back to his teenage days and the times he had fucked Abby. Ben could remember both evenings in detail.Ben thought back to the night that he lost his virginity to Abby. Mike and Abby were visiting for the weekend. Mike hadn't felt well and had gone to bed early in Ben's room. Abby had gone out with some of her girl friends and come back three sheets to the wind. Ben was sleeping on the sofa bed where Mike and Abby had been sleeping. Ben was. The thought of what Mike was going to say wasrunning through his mind. Mike needed a good reason for his utterstupidity and Paul was determined to get it, even if it meant shovinghis head down a toilet. But that wasn't Paul. He wasn't a bully.His thought was broken only when Laura called him down to dinner. Hedecided to bring up his chest while he was at it."Mom, I might need measuring up, up here," he said quietly, pointing tohis chest."Are they that big already?" she said calmly."I'm not.
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