But ... they didn’t care for me. They wouldn’t fight for me.They wouldn’t come here to this strip club only to witness me messing up again.I cou...d tell Clint was angry. He had every right to be furious at me. I was his queen. His first woman. And he still came. He still ... wanted me. The men shouting at me, lusting after me, filled my pain, but it wouldn’t last. The song would end. I would have to let another girl dance, slip backstage.Feel empty... I darted down the stage that thrust out into. She looked at me. ‘Do you need something else, another book?’‘Okay, I'm going to tell you how I feel about you, right now – just don't phone the police...’ She breathed in with me –And this crazy young man, or maybe a sex criminal disguised as a gentleman, is now pestering me at closing time – but the problem is I was waiting to see where he was going with it – though I should have known it from the start. He couldn't be serious, I don't want to have to say it but I'm old enough to be his. I tried to make sense of the puzzle, reflecting on what had happened over the past year. Or not happened… For six months after the birth of the twins, I had been caring, supportive and patient. I knew that Veronica had her hands full with the babies and needed all her rest and strength to cope with the demand on her time and energies. If it meant she was too exhausted for love-making, so be it. I accepted that. I could wait. I nodded to myself: yes, those had been my initial thoughts. Of. A conquered warrior lost in his pleasure and I realise I could easily fall in love with this version of him. The open and unguarded version. The thought shakes me awake, back into the real world where I am me and he is him and I know I have to go. I notice that my hand still holds my carrier. It aches from the death grip I have had on it over the last few minutes but I ignore the pain, not knowing what will come of me if I linger and desperately not willing to find out.“God damn you Grace.”A.
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