I was so jealous of them. They had something I've never been able to find for myself. I finished my tea, staring at those pictures, unable to take my ...yes away. I fell asleep on the carpet, beside all those pictures and keeping my hand on the pendant. I woke up at the first light of a new day with the content of the box on the carpet all around me. What I'd discovered shocked me in a way but didn't surprise me. The shock came from their relationship, their intimacy, their deep love still alive. The miracle they waited for came, because they dreamed the same dream and prayed for it as one. My ugly envy consumes me, as I see all the stains and smears that might have marked their love… lifted in a single phenomenal life-changing heartbeat. What must it feel like to have it all just drop away and vanish — be reduced, made irrelevant, incidental, inconsequential — become so… small? I covet their strength. I covet their luck. I covet their love. What kind of person does this make me? * *. .. he repeated that he was ‘so, so sorry for everything.’He wanted to make it right, if only i would forgive him and take him back.My heart melted, I felt wave after wave of pity and love for him. He was broken and it seemed only i could fix him.I stood and opened my arms and he stood too and we embraced.We held each other for a while ignoring the strange cameo we must have made in the cafe. ‘please forgive me, let me make amends’ he begged.He snivelled on and I felt for him like a mother feels. The guy at the firm who was looking after me was called Brian. He was late thirties, middle management type, but seemed a nice fellow - he set me up efficiently, showed me the essentials (where the tea-making facilities were mainly!) and left me to get about my work. The first day passed uneventfully and Brian came to check in with me before he left for the evening. "I won't be around tomorrow - there's an area meeting," he said. "But I'll get my secretary Julie to look in on you tomorrow.
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