I don’t know how long this will last Marianne, all I know is that you’re in my blood now and I have to have you as long as we can be together.” ... knew exactly how he felt. Fantasizing about him was one thing, now that I’d actually made love with him, I had to be with him. The guilt of having an affair receded to the far corners of my mind and my lust for him took over. With my hands still on his face I kissed him on the mouth this time. I kissed him softly at first then with more urgency as I. "I hate boys."Janice laughed. "You'll grow out of that." I doubt it. Besides, I'd rather hang out with a good friend rather than a boy. I wish I had a good friend."Janice looked over at Christine. "I hope you think I'm a good friend. I may be your boss, but I still want you to think of me as a friend."Christine smiled meekly. "Well I think you are the only friend I have right now."Janice raised her head up and put her feet down. "Let's do it then. Let's go out tonight. Maybe to dinner and then. Steve---Yes. In a way, I do feel that way. But you see, this has been the greatest fear, the biggest threat that whites (in the South, but other places as well) have felt the most concerned about---namely their sexual inferiority to blacks. It's a deep insecurity that lies at the very bottom (I think) of the entire White Supremacy 'system' (he makes air quotation marks).Personally, I think black men do tend to be more 'manly', more sexually vigorous, than a lot of white men. But if you think. He put himself out there like that. All I had to do is accept him for what he truly felt. And I felt the same way about him. “Jim,” I asked. “Yes,” Jim asked back. “Oh never mind,” I replied. “Well we just told each other being brother and sister we truly loved each other and now there's something you're holding back,” Jim asked.“Will you take my virginity,” I asked. “You truly wanna have sex now,” Jim asked. “Yes big brother. I found you and I truly know I wanna give it to you. Not some guy.
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