We have spent the last week almost exclusively learning mental self-control and part of it is just not sinking in. The part where you stop thinking ab...ut IT. I have to make it get through to him that I need sex, unlike him, occasionally at least. I don't understand his total self-control his total lack of physical need. He doesn't need anything- except to live his own way without others hindering him. All he wants to do is live and be left alone and in this one thing I think I can help.I asked. A while later, I emerge from the shower feeling refreshed, my hair still damp and crazy. You aren't on the sofa anymore so I wonder where you've gone, and I find you lying on the bed. I crawl into bed with you, and wrap my arms around your waist, hands on hips and I hold you. I gently kiss your neck and you let out a slight moan. I keep kissing up your neck to your lips and we passionately kiss. Our breathing becomes heavier as our tongues collide, my hands tracing a line up your body, not too. Tonight I plan to be honest about my feelings and tell Justin exactly what I think about him.I've practised what I want to say repeatedly in my head for years, trying to work out the best way to get it out, but I'm nervous knowing our friendship is on the line by doing this. All I know is that I can't live this lie any longer and waste my time with those I don't like. It's becoming tougher to maintain this pretence, and watching him with others is killing me. The sooner this is out in the open,. I decided that I should talk to them, though I dreaded it, now that I had kept it from them for so long. Nevertheless, I asked if I could talk to them after dinner."What's up, son?" my father asked.I sighed and said, "I need to tell you about something that I have been doing." Deciding to tell them the unvarnished truth, I proceeded to discuss the situation with Helen, how that led to me dominating her mother, and eventually Karen's involvement. I ended by telling them about my promise for this.
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