I still hungered for her, as a lover and especially as a friend. I knew the lover part wasn't in the cards at all, but I really missed her friendship,...and kept hoping we might revive that. Over the years we'd shared so many good times and she'd always been there for me.But she was skittish, unsure. I suspected she was afraid if she got too close to me I might press the lover issue, which I'd never, ever do. I was hoping over time that fear might go away and we could just be friends. Yet, that horror filled her with purposeful drive and ambition as well.Amy Stone had been with the MK-ULTRA Project for just over three years, ever since her career in the Air Force had ended. Her intellect had served her well in the Air Force, moving her quickly up the ranks to Captain. Her final posting had been as an Air Force General's staffer at the Pentagon.When she met Colonel Ansel and learned exactly what his black-ops project was doing, she knew that's what she was meant for. And. Violence is not my thing. I suddenly doubted whether I could love Paul for being violent or Lynn if she condoned it. I had a bit of an epiphany that night. Paul and Lynn slept in the spare bedroom. We were separated for the first time in our marriage.”“I had a dream that someone was telling me that they were going to shoot my wife, or my babies and I had the choice of which it was going to be. In the dream I asked Paul for help and I was told he could not save me, because if he killed the. .. black inky lookingstuff came out of me. Somehow, in the dream, i knew it was all the crapand stress I've been under. It went out, and my dream self followed it,until it went into this lake, dived in and formed itself into thismonster. Then the monster started to rise to the surface, and was headedstraight for this little cabin on the shore of the lake, and that's whenI woke up." And what do you think that dream is trying to tell you?" I ... I think it was trying to tell me I cant hold things.
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