Worst case, I’d have given them up for adoption. I’m glad that I didn’t have to, of course. Of course, at the rate that Roderick was hitting me ...ow, I wondered if they would even survive to full term, anyway.“Roderick really blew up at me, and only then did I confront him about his own straying. I didn’t mention the abuse, because at the time I still blamed myself for that. Catholic guilt and gaslighting, a toxic combination. He denied it furiously, though I never believed him. We broke up. Long story short, after rehab and extended hospital stays, I ended up in this housing project, filled with losers. I fit right in. I met Nancy back when I was taken around by a nurse who stops by regularly and takes care of the things I can’t. I get by pretty well, all things considered, so the thought of being cooped up in a hospital or having somebody hovering over me all the time would drive me crazier than I am. Nancy was friendly enough, and when I discovered she was a neighbor I would. As we relaxed around each other we became more flirtatious with each other. There were some long pauses with us just looking into each other's eyes. Able to see the desire we each had for each other. There were the incidental brushes of our knees against each other that sent electricity up through my body. There were butterflies and excitement going through both of us as we each got a little bolder. I would play with my hair and he would accidentally find reasons to touch my knee or my. I had not turned the camera on during our trip to the club. A mistake I would not be making again. At around 11:15 pm I got a text from Patricia asking where I was parked. I told her I was across the street in the main parking lot. She said one of the girls was coming out with a friend to have some privacy. In big bold letters it said DON” T ASK DON”T TELL. I opened the side door to the Van and waited for them. Kathy approached with a young black man, I would say late 20’s they climbed into.
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