"Hi! I thought I saw someone new coming down the hall. I'm Julie, your RA." She extends her hand with a smile. You manage to tear your gaze away from ...er body and shake her hand. "My RA?" "Yeah. Resident Assistant, silly." "Oh, I knew that. I was just testing you," you say, with a wink. She giggles softly. "Nice to meet you, Julie. I'm John." "Well, John, welcome to Keller Hall. I think this is going to be a really fun year. I have a lot of great floor activities planned for this fall.. .." I'll bet you have. Go on; everything's there. I want plenty of rouge on your cheeks."I applied foundation, blush, eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick. When I was done, she said,"Well, Janyce, you're never going to fool anybody. You look just like a silly man in drag."She was right. I looked awful. But then, I always did, and when I went off on business trips and dressed in my motel room, I never looked in the mirror. As long as I didn't see how I looked, I could imagine myself as a pretty. "That's fuckin' awesome!" Sir?" I asked as I felt like I was going to burst.He pointed at my belly and said with a laugh. "Your flat stomach ain't soflat anymore. You look like you're fuckin' pregnant."I looked down and saw that he was right. My belly was sticking out."Okay," he said, "time to get rid of the bad stuff."He went behind me and pulled the hose out. I tried but I couldn't hold itback. It just let go and all the water shot out of my butt. It felt sogood and weird at the same time. I. "You said there was an event?" Uh huh. Special for parents with birthdays today." Annie kissed my cheek as I reached for the front door to her building.Annie's room was on the second floor. The hallway was deserted. Her hand fondled the doorknob. "You still do word games, right?" she asked."You mean puns? Only if I get credit, of course." Credit. Course. It was a bit forced, but fit the locale.She didn't react to the example but seemed delighted. "Goodie! You remember all the girls who stopped.
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