I know I was a pain in the ass today and you and Nancy stood by andlet me have my hissy fit. That went a long way towards calming me down,and it figur...d, in a big way, in my decision tonight. I appreciate it,and I appreciate the chances you've given me. This is the biggest thingthat anyone could possibly offer someone. A chance to see how thingsREALLY are on the other side of the gender line, and to put away a nicechunk of money besides. I'll see you in the morning, Eric."I actually hugged Eric. 45 mins later and there is no sign of her and we were both getting anxious.... A phone call later confirmed that she got lost, gave up and went home!I was absolutely gutted. I had fantasized for years about this moment, but it was not meant to be! Simon and I shared our disappointment, but the subject stayed firmly on sex. We continued to share fantasies. "Have you ever thought about fooling around with another guy?" I could not believe that those words came out of my mouth. I did. The water seemed willing to accomidate me,as if it would do as I asked, or as I expected. This morning, when I had it support me,I just expected it to work, because it had facilitated my swimming, and didn't even getme wet. I just tried harder, I mean, I wanted it enough so the water tried harder to dowhat I expected, and I was confident that it would, so I expected it to work." Does it extend to any other medium?" I haven't tried anything else, I wanted to get your input and insight." What. The most vivid, intense dreams I'dever had...dreams of lurid, shameless transvestite sex, dressed as a hooker,sucking off a procession of men, of being exhibited naked, auctioned off tothe highest bidder...and in the background, always, controlling everything,stood Richard...I awoke as the orgasm ripped through me, soaked in sweat, moaning, thrashingand franticly masturbating, feelings of dread and shame and desire minglinginto one. What on earth was happening to me?I finished work early the.
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