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Pip said, “Do you remember seven hundred years ago when she wore that ivy in her hair in an attempt to look pretty only to discover that it was pois...n ivy?”“That was a good one,” Chom said laughing.Thur said, “I laughed for a hundred years on that one.”“How about that time when she got dyed purple?” Chom asked.“That was funny,” Pip said laughing.“Remember when she cut off her beard?” Thur asked.“That was so stupid. Who ever heard of a female dwarf without a beard?” Grum asked shaking his. “You know, it seems like only yesterday that I used these to feed you when you were a baby.”“Really mom?” Danny wondered. “Did you really feed me with them?”“Yes I did, my son,” she replied happily. “You always smiled and giggled happily after you were fed by me with them. You were such a happy little baby boy after I fed you with my tits. You always enjoyed sucking on them even as a little baby and I know that you enjoyed sucking on them now as a fully grown young man.”“You also have the most. The work is meaningful. Every day you thank whatever dark gods might be real you didn’t end up one of those child-scaring boogiemen parents use to get kids to brush their teeth. It sounds positively miserable. Killing and devouring murderers, rapists, extortionists, the darkest dregs of society, all of whom will never be caught without you … it’s fulfilling work. And it’s the only way you can eat, so there’s that.You nearly jump out of your dry, leathery skin when a ringing bell noises rips. Dickens with him.We made it to the courthouse at two minutes until ten and when we got inside the clock read one minute past. A clerk met us in the hallway, told us that the judge was hearing a case and that we were to meet her in her chambers.We waited for over thirty minutes for the judge to join us. By that time, Paige had adjusted my tie seventeen times, and I had assured her that her hair was in place twelve times. She looked stunning, wearing the business suit she'd arrived in on Thursday.
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