So not to waste a lot of time and should come to point directly.I was only 15 at the time, curious and confused, about boys and hormones and a little ...hing called sex. It was a whole new world to me. My boyfriend, a year older than me was almost as clueless as i was and just as curious. We’d been dating for a while and decided to take our relationship to the next level…We told out parents we were going to dinner and a movie explained that we’d be home by 11, but we both knew something else was. Could I stop it if I wanted or was I too far gone? Did I want him to see it so that I got punished? Those two simple words rattling around my head 24 hours a day – “Punish me”. Do I live for me, for him, for sex or for the sweet pain. I know that my pain is not excessive, it is not scarring mentally or physically, it is not unbearable, it is just aimed at my own tolerance levels. What do I like the most? The actual physical side or the anticipation? I function perfectly well away from. " Ryan shook her head. "It's only been a week, just barely, and I'm not sure how it will go. Besides, I can't subject Brody to Dad. Not this soon. Can you imagine?"Evan nodded. "Oh, yeah. Smart move."They talked a little more, and then Ryan turned when she heard someone call Evan's name. A girl with long black hair and Indian features came up to him, her smile wide and her dark eyes bright. Ryan looked at her brother and bit back a smile at the pleased expression on his face."Hey, Amira." He. It wasn't only physical pain but the agony of always seeing someone in desperate, mortal danger. Often, Angel and Wesley could save them. Often. Though sometimes they would come back with failure written on their faces and Cordy would go home to her apartment and cry.What had happened to her golden, secure life? Cordelia disliked retrospection, but she did it now. It was tempting to blame it all on the Scooby gang. But it was more than that. Because, frankly, she had enjoyed being important and.
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