Shedoesn't think it's actual depression but that it's instead more amatter of the burden of keeping this secret about myself and feelingunable to shar... it with anyone. During my last two sessions with her weexplored these feelings and my sexual inclinations (gay or straight) asshe sought to define a suitable course of treatment. My case is adifficult one, she admitted to me, since I'm not really completely maleany longer, for me to have or want sex with another man wouldn't reallybe considered. ” Then she tried to justify herself, “Hey, I was a horny teenager. I liked sex… still do.”Tanya started to calculate, “Okay, three nights a week, four times a night, about thirty-six weeks in a school year, all times two years.” She thought to herself a moment. “That comes to a little over eight-hundred times you and my husband fucked. Your two-hundred estimate was a little off, dearie.”Holy shit, I thought, I’m not sure that Adriana and I have made love that many times in the ten years we’ve. Usually we had the balcony to ourselves but that afternoon it was almost full of young couples. It was understood that the balcony was for lovers so the older, more reserved moviegoers avoided it. Couples sat in the balcony to make out, to indulge in some heavy petting, not to watch the movie. They were young couples that had no where else to go to have a little freedom. The movie came on, an old Julie Robert's movie, "Pretty Woman."They had lovers in mind when they designed the balcony seating. Thao’s palms were damp and he felt a little week-kneed as he was led down the stairs into the basement.Thao at first didn’t respond during rush week to the Lambda invitation. While his Dad and Grandpa had belonged, Thao wasn't at all sure this was for him. His impression of fraternities was that they were drinking societies and might distract from his studies. Besides, Thao explained to the frat guys who kept bugging him, he didn’t think he could afford to join. He had heard that with dues.
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